We stay in a relentless each day bustle, all the time in a rush to complete one job to start out one other, in a relentless bustle that nearly all the time leads us to deal with what we lack and what we expect we’d like. A spiral that, ultimately, can preserve us in a relentless state of dissatisfaction.
On the opposite hand, if we consciously give thanks each day for what we have now, for the nice and the unhealthy (as a result of we additionally study from that) what occurs round us and mentally we thank for our lives, we might be extra empathetic and pleased folks. It is what, in truth, a number of scientific research have already documented on the helpful and therapeutic results of gratitude.
“Giving thanks is affirming the human being that you are, it is opening yourself up to other experiences, to other people, it is wanting to be more connected with life, with people, with what is happening. It is opening a window or a door that brings you well-being ”, maintains the scientific psychologist Thalía Cuadrado, who firmly believes that gratitude is without doubt one of the actions that almost all opens the human being to obtain peace, concord and well-being.
These days, when many individuals put together to have fun Thanksgiving, It generally is a good time to grow to be conscious of the affect and which means of gratitude, past faith, private beliefs or being a behavior of excellent manners. Above all, after virtually two years of preventing COVID-19, of deaths and private losses.
Thanksgiving, greater than an important meal, must be a chance to mirror and provides thanks for the constructive issues we have now realized within the midst of this time of pandemic the place our routines have been drastically disrupted. It is necessary to cease and provides thanks for all the things we have now skilled, no matter how unhealthy we have now been, “proposes the doctor in professional counseling Monsita Nazario Lugo, who believes that every difficult situation has its positive opportunities and that the decision must be made to look for what they are and to thank them conscientiously.
“We should counteract the damaging preponderance that comes alone and, should you depart it, it takes over your ideas and subsequently your emotions and your habits,” warns the counselor.
Link to happiness
Dr. Amit Sood, researcher and founder of the Global Center for Resiliency and Wellbeing, has shown that a daily practice of gratitude significantly increases people’s well-being, according to a column on the subject published by the Mayo Clinic.
“Counting your blessings each day has been shown to significantly increase your happiness and physical health. In addition to helping you sleep more, the practice of gratitude can increase your immunity and lower the risk of disease, “writes the doctor in the article. In fact, Sood indicates that several scientific studies have found that being grateful brings personal well-being, less anxiety or sadness, in addition to helping us overcome trauma more easily or problems that arise. In the same way, it strengthens the immune system, improves blood pressure levels, promotes happiness and greater social connection.
In fact, the councilor Nazario Lugo also mentions the Benedictine monk David Steindl-Rast, author of the book “Gratitude, the heart of prayer”, where he says that “if you want to be happy, be grateful.”
“Steindl-Rast suggests that to the extent that human beings allow themselves to be surprised by the everyday and the simple without taking it for granted, they can be happy and find greater meaning and meaning in their lives”, indicates Nazario Lugo, who believes that being grateful can become a lifestyle that, although it will not eliminate conflicts and difficult moments, “will provide a stable and focused starting point to handle them in a healthy way.”
And, according to the counselor, we all like to hear words of gratitude because it is an action that motivates and changes attitudes. It also highlights its importance in couple and family relationships, as promoted by the American psychologist John Gottman, emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington, who says that giving thanks is part of “building a culture of appreciation and respect. which in turn is the antidote to contempt ”.
“Gottman dismisses it as the ‘sulfuric acid of romantic relationships.’ Without a doubt, gratitude is beneficial for building healthy long-term relationships, ”he says.
The counselor also mentions the book “The Relationship Alphabet” by Zach Brittle, where the author invites you to make a commitment to think more seriously about gratitude and begin by thanking in small details. Among them, write a note or set an alarm to remind ourselves to thank those who are empathic with us. “He assures that we are going to be stunned with the modifications that we are going to see in interpersonal relationships by practising easy acts of gratitude.”
Education to children
Another aspect that should be taken into account, recommends clinical psychologist Thalía Cuadrado, It is modeling and teaching children from an early age to be grateful “not as a result of it’s well mannered, however as a result of it’s of excellent conscience.”
“Teaching them to give thanks is raising a more conscientious, more open, more empathetic person. That way we have a better society. But it is not a sporadic act because you gave me something. In yoga, for example, it is a conscious act that we did an exercise for our body, we connect with our energy, we are in well-being and we give thanks ”, explains the psychologist.
However, he points out that parents fail a lot when they go by pointing out what their son is missing: “You didn’t do your homework, you didn’t get good grades.You didn’t fix your room, you didn’t help me… ”, which, in his opinion, fosters a state of deprivation.
“A wonderful way to help with that is the daily behavior of giving thanks. Many say that you do not have to thank your child for cleaning his room, but it is the opposite. The child learns to give thanks for it. We almost always give thanks when we buy a product that we like and we even thank the supermarket cashier. But the people around us, who live with us every day, we don’t usually do it because we take it for granted. And that happens a lot with education. When you say thank you to a child, he learns to give thanks and feels grateful too ”, explains the psychologist, who emphasizes that giving thanks is more than a word, it is a state that you enter because“ there are things that are right ” .
“It can also be an act in which there’s plenty of pleasure as a result of it’s an motion of nice openness,” adds Cuadrado, although he warns that many times people spend their entire lives understanding the shortcomings they have, but not all the good things they have.
Therefore, anger, annoyance, resentment or contempt, are states that, according to the psychologist, close. While the act of giving thanks opens and in that opening, “we really feel related.”
In addition, it highlights that this type of gratitude has nothing to do with a religion, with a personal belief or because you are already an elderly person. Rather, he clarifies, it has to do with being alert and seeing that we are on an extraordinary planet, we live on a wonderful island, with everything we have for free, “though we virtually all the time fear extra about what we have now to purchase.”
In that sense, he believes that for people with sadness or depression, or those who feel a lot of resentment inside, it would help a lot to do a little meditation of thanks. “No matter where you are, you just have to connect with yourself silently, close your eyes, and give thanks. People who do yoga, for example, do it every day. It is giving thanks for what we have done, for the energy we have moved. That is why it has nothing to do with religion, it is with the state that you want to practice, openness that allows you to be with yourself, be calm and be able to open yourself to the people around you, ”says Cuadrado, who believes that this small action It means that you became aware of what you have, that there is much for which you can be grateful.
Precisely, the psychologist proposes a meditation that you can do daily, both when you get up and when you go to bed. “It is, merely, silently connecting along with your internal being and giving thanks thrice,” he recommends and emphasizes that, as it is an internal act, no one has to listen to you.
He also warns that couples often forget to say thank you every day. “They are small particulars in each day life that assist us get nearer, make us extra conscious of what’s occurring, open our minds and hearts to see different issues,” recommends the psychologist.
But if you are going through a loss (divorce, work, health) or facing depression, the first step is to seek professional help, advises Nazario Lugo. “It is important to work the process so that people can focus on attitudes of gratitude. With the emotions engaged and without working them, it is practically impossible to adopt a healthy attitude of gratitude ”, he warns.
Instead, he adds, gratitude helps us feel good because it allows us to focus on the positive. “It permits us to look outdoors of our self and acknowledge as useful what maybe with out making the trouble to determine it we overlook it or contemplate it an obligation.”
Actions to implement
There are several ways to practice gratitude, and it is important to find the method that works best for you based on your time and skills.
1. One option, recommends the professional counselor Monsita Nazario Lugo, is making the decision to set aside a few minutes each day to identify ten things for which we should be thankful. “This helps us deal with the constructive and takes us out of what we regularly do mechanically, which is to complain about all the things that occurs to us with out noticing that there are good issues.”
2. Giving thanks is a continuous act, you don’t have to stop or go somewhere to do it, proposes clinical psychologist Thalía Cuadrado. “It is mentally giving thanks for us, because we are here. That puts you in a position of more openness towards other people and generates a state of well-being and empathy towards the other ”.
3. Write a thank you note to someone. It can be to your partner, children, friends or family and it tells them why you appreciate them, recommends Dr. Amit Sood in his column on gratitude.
4. Use a small notebook to write down the things you are grateful for in your life, Sood proposes. “The purpose is to go from serious about gratitude sometimes to doing it mechanically. Over time, you’ll decrease your gratitude threshold, you’ll be grateful for the little issues and you’ll study to place slightly gratitude all through the day ”.